Something for Fun

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day/10 pound weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic,19-year-old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.' Without a second thought, he takes off after her.

A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me you can have me'.

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight, on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone. 'This is our most rigorous program!'

'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'

The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I can catch you, you're mine.'

He lost 63 pounds that week.

Consider this... Birthdays

Tomorrow is my 51st birthday. I was born on August 22nd in 1959, at 3:05 pm which makes me a cuspy Leo/Virgo... hence the previous post about that year. If you haven't seen it yet, click 1959.

This has definitely been an eventful year. Last October, I spent a month in Lexington, Kentucky at Saint Joseph Hospital, East. My dad was showing sick back in June during vacation, spent a month at home promising to visit the doctor before he left to spend a month or so with my sister in Florida. I'm still not quite sure if he visited the doctor or not. During vacation with us, he would seem to forget exactly what he was doing. He'd go to sit and seem to get stuck 1/2 way down to the chair and wouldn't move again until someone nudged him verbally or physically. He showed no signs of being ill while at sisters, but on the way home he took ill again. I got a call from my mom worried that he'd had a stroke. She was waffling between taking him home to the doctor's or to the hospital. I had to ask her how she would feel if dad died on the way home to convince her to check him in. His kidneys had failed, he had a MRSA in his blood, and developed pneumonia and blood clots in his arm and legs before they finally got him well enough to return home. The doctor stated that he'd never seen someone as sick as dad was actually leave the hospital under his own power, even if that was a wheel chair.

Next came almost 6 months of mom and dad staying with us here at the house. We had their bed brought from their house, brought dad's lift chair and mom bought herself one, ensconced them in the living room as comfortably as possible, and tried our level best to keep the noise of the children from driving them insane. Dad has never been an easy man and growing up with him and his harshness made me determined to not allow him to visit his wrath on my kids as much as possible. On the reverse side, I slept on the couch in the basement, in my step-son's room, and in the basement's bedroom before my husband was convinced to finally get our bed set up in the basement.

We made it to April. Dad was getting on the kids for every little thing. Even if I were around for which he had explicit instructions to leave them to me then. I had to have left the dinner table at least 6 times the last couple of weeks they were there to just keep the peace. The straw/camel/back thing happened when dad got after my youngest for not having a cold Dr. Pepper in the fridge. I had had it by that time and let me dad know in no uncertain terms (and no uncertain language) that I wasn't standing for it another moment. He could either watch his actions and words or he could leave. He decided to leave at midnight that night and mom decided to go with him... to a house infested with mice.

I was torn between my victory and my guilt for their situation. When my sister went to the pastor of their church for some help for mom/dad in cleaning up their house, she was told by him that "that's the children's job". Forget all the support to the church my mom and dad have given over the years. Forget the fact that all of their children had duties and responsibilities for their own work/families. One of the many reasons I don't go to church now. I'm sick of this behavior with people who assume the name of Christ. They got their house in order, lost all of their furniture because of the infestation, and any food in boxes that the rodents could get into. By the way, dad and I had a discussion where we agreed to disagree but he knows now in no uncertain terms he is not to behave that way towards my kids any longer.

Fast forward... June, dad fell going up the steps and cut his knee a bit. Then, without checking the levels of Coumadin (remember the blood clots?) in his blood, they removed his ureteral stent and sent him home where he promptly began bleeding furiously. Mom got him to the hospital where they ended up giving him 5 units of blood. We only hold 5-6 units folks. So yeah, he almost died again.

Then, I lost my business from the time I had spent in Lexington. It wasn't big but it was starting to grow. I just couldn't recover from the time-loss and money loss. Consequently, my husband and I ended up filing for bankruptcy. It's not something we're well pleased with, but we had no choice. We filed once before when my husband almost died from a mosquito bite (viral encephalitis or equine encephalitis as most people call it). We lost our home that time but this time we're managing to keep it so far.

So, now that should be enough for anyone you'd think, right? Well, you couldn't be as far from the truth than that.

Got a call about a month ago late at night on a Wednesday from my brother that mom had been taken to the Hillsdale Community Health Center for a fall and breaking her nose. She had apparently fallen at church. How he got that information?? He called again early Thursday stating that it wasn't her nose, it was her back, it was broken, and she was being taken emergently to Bronson Hospital Trama Care in Kalamazoo, Michigan. She had a broken vertebra mid-way down her spine. I hot-footed it over to the hospital to find my mom looking like this:

Trust me, I've never seen her looking so bad. They had her doped up even at that point. She has no recollection of those days at Bronson. The first she truly remembers after Hillsdale Hospital is the day after surgery. They had her that way to manage the pain but even then she cried. I don't know if you've ever had to hold your mom's hand when she's in pain, but believe me, it isn't easy. I couldn't deal. I left. I came back the next day, but I left. Not proud of that, but I'd run out of strength. I left... and I cried all the way home. I don't remember that trip and it's an hour's drive. Went back to that hospital every night after work and spent hours with her on my days off. But that isn't all...

The weekend after she fell, my dad collapsed at the hospital. Sister from Indiana took him to the emergency room there at Bronson, but they couldn't find a reason. Brother took him home to his house but the next day, dad couldn't climb the stairs to leave the house. Brother took him to Jackson's Allegiance Hospital where they discovered his MRSA was back. It was caught in time but now I had 2 hospitals to divide my time between. Mom's surgery went well, although she kept seeing mice on the ceiling of her room and the recovery room thanks to wonderful medication. And dad was on one of the strongest antibiotics he could be to drive the infection from his blood.

About 3 weeks ago, mom and dad made it to rehab in Chelsea, Michigan. They're in the same room and both are improving. They're expected to be released in about 2 weeks and will be spending the rest of their recuperation with my sis in Indiana then spending the winter with my sis in Florida. Dad's afraid that if they come to my home that he'll lose me forever. He wouldn't, but I'm not telling him. Let him worry.

This was taken 5 days ago

AND, on top of it all, I also lost one of my dearest friends back when things were getting really interesting. He always said he'd be there for me, that he couldn't imagine his life without me, how much he loved me and how much I'd been a boone for him and he wouldn't be the man he is today without my influence. Apparently, I didn't do as good a job of influencing as I'd thought or he confessed. Apparently when you get a real life girlfriend, any statements made previously are moot. He says it's because he'd grown to depend on me too much (insert laugh here) but ... yeah... not fooling me whatever he says. Thanks a lot and don't let the door bat you on the fanny on your way out... and yes, I mean fanny, stupid Englisher.

So, that was my year...

How was yours?

Consider this... Work

I've been working for Cloud10 about 8 months now. I'll be learning "Retention" on August 31st. Not looking forward to that in the least. In my mind, if someone wants to go, why block the doorway? If something's been done to make them want to leave, offer to fix it, but yeah... don't let the door bat you on the fanny on the way out!

So I've been looking for ways to make some extra bucks. I started working for ChaCha.com as a Guide. I get sent questions and am given the tools to answer those questions. It's not a lot of money, but it'll add up. And with it, I can do those things with the kids that I really want to... at least over time :)

If you're interested, please click Become A Guide and if you decide to apply, please consider putting my e-mail address in the "ChaCha Guide Referral Email Address" field so that I can get credit? That's snick5908@gmail.com ;)

I know, I'm shamelessly hustling on my own behalf but it's for a good cause :p

Consider this... Customer Service

I know that things are tough. Believe me, I know. I understand people are out of work, people are scrimping and saving, people are losing their homes/car(s)/luxury/staples. It really sucks and we'd love to have someone to blame. But it isn't your local customer service/technical service representative. How do I know? Because I'm one of them.

I know that we (I) make mistakes, sometimes very costly mistakes. But usually when you call in, it wasn't MY specific mistake. When you get me, you can almost bet it's the first time we've spoken and whatever problem you're facing wasn't caused by me. And yeah, you can want whatever it is that's wrong fixed right away. But you need to realize I have rules that I have to follow or I'll be just like those people out of work, scrimping and saving, losing their home/car/luxury/staples... oh, wait... I am one of those very people except I still have a job at the moment.

Case in point. Customer calls in wonder what the hell he's being billed $600 for. I check his account, find he was disconnected early last month then reconnected about mid-month. This caused a whole new account to be built for him. Whoever was processing the disconnected account forgot to check to see what this was all about and billed the account for early termination and non-return of equipment. The equipment alone is $300.00.

Now, I totally understood that this man was upset that one night he goes to sleep with money in the bank then wakes to find someone's hand in his cookie jar stealing his last crumbs. I don't blame him for being upset. But really! Do you think he's going to have ANY luck getting that money redeposited THAT MORNING???!!! Well, apparently he did.

So, while waiting for a supervisor that he demanded to speak with come on the phone, I had the privilege to sit there and listen to him rant for 30 minutes. How could I work for such an evil company? How could I uphold any company who would do this to another person/taxpayer/American? I so wanted to remind him that no matter what his circumstances, HE was the one that allowed his account to become disconnected for non-payment for services. If HE had had the backbone to realize that HE couldn't afford the service and ... but I digress... this all began because he had gone in over his head like so many of us did in the years leading up to this financial crisis.

My point is, when you call in to any call center looking for help for a situation you need fixed, please don't shoot us. We're only trying to help. If you get one with an attitude or seems to not give a shit about your situation, realize this. He or she has had it with callers like above. You don't give a shit either, I know... nuff said.

Mila's Daydreams

It's been a while since I posted here. My life and that of my parents kinda took an abrupt left turn. I'll post about that when balance is restored. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this YouTube and you can follow her blog here: http://milasdaydreams.blogspot.com/

Consider this... 1959

In 1959, the world was a different place.

There was no Google yet. Or Yahoo. Or Gauchodeinteligenciaartificial.blogspot, for that matter.

In 1959, the year of your birth, the top selling movie was Ben-Hur. People buying the popcorn in the cinema lobby had glazing eyes when looking at the poster.

Remember, that was before there were DVDs. Heck, even before there was VHS. People were indeed watching movies in the cinema, and not downloading them online. Imagine the packed seats, the laughter, the excitement, the novelty. And mostly all of that without 3D computer effects.

Do you know who won the Oscars that year? The academy award for the best movie went to Ben-Hur. The Oscar for best foreign movie that year went to Black Orpheus. The top actor was Charlton Heston for his role as Judah Ben-Hur in Ben-Hur. The top actress was Simone Signoret for her role as Alice Aisgill in Room at the Top. The best director? William Wyler for Ben-Hur.

In the year 1959, the time when you arrived on this planet, books were still popularly read on paper, not on digital devices. Trees were felled to get the word out. The number one US bestseller of the time was Exodus by Leon Uris. Oh, that's many years ago. Have you read that book? Have you heard of it?

In 1959... Cultivars of plants named after this date must be named in a modern language, not in Latin. Castro's troops approach Havana. The island of Addu in the Maldives declares independence. Alaska is admitted as the 49th U.S. state. Women in Nepal vote for the first time. The Marx Brothers make their last TV appearance, in The Incredible Jewel Robbery. Import tariffs are lifted in the United Kingdom. Two monkeys, Able and Miss Baker are the first living beings to successfully return to Earth from space aboard the flight Jupiter AM-18. Singapore becomes a self-governing crown colony of Britain with Lee Kuan Yew as Prime Minister. The Central Treaty Organization CENTO is established. The original Mini designed by Sir Alec Issigonis is launched. The first section of England's M1 motorway opens between the present junctions 5 and 18. Three years after its first telecast, MGM's The Wizard of Oz is shown on television for only the second time, but it gains an even larger viewing audience than its first television outing, spurring CBS to make it an annual tradition.

That was the world you were born into. Since then, you and others have changed it.

The Nobel prize for Literature that year went to Salvatore Quasimodo. The Nobel Peace prize went to Philip J. Noel-Baker. The Nobel prize for physics went to Owen Chamberlain and Emilio Gino Segrè from the United States for their discovery of the antiproton. The sensation this created was big. But it didn't stop the planets from spinning, on and on, year by year. Years in which you would grow bigger, older, smarter, and, if you were lucky, sometimes wiser. Years in which you also lost some things. Possessions got misplaced. Memories faded. Friends parted ways. The best friends, you tried to hold on. This is what counts in life, isn't it?

The 1950s were indeed a special decade. The American economy is on the upswing. The cold war betwen the US and the Soviet Union is playing out throughout the whole decade. Anti-communism prevails in the United States and leads to the Red Scare and accompanying Congressional hearings. Africa begins to become decolonized. The Korean war takes place. The Vietnam War starts. The Suez Crisis war is fought on Egyptian territory. Fidel Castro, Che Guevara and others overthrow authorities to create a communist government on Cuba. Funded by the US, reconstructions in Japan continue.

In Japan, film maker Akira Kurosawa creates the movies Rashomon and Seven Samurai. The FIFA World Cups are won by Uruguay, then West Germany, then Brazil.

Do you remember the movie that was all the rage when you were 15? Murder on the Orient Express. Do you still remember the songs playing on the radio when you were 15? Maybe it was Rock Me Gently by Andy Kim. Were you in love? Who were you in love with, do you remember?

In 1959, 15 years earlier, a long time ago, the year when you were born, the song Smoke Gets in Your Eyes by The Platters topped the US charts. Do you know the lyrics? Do you know the tune? Sing along.

They asked me how I knew

My true love was true

Oh, I of course replied

Something here inside cannot be denied

...

There's a kid outside, shouting, playing. It doesn't care about time. It doesn't know about time. It shouts and it plays and thinks time is forever. You were once that kid.

When you were 9, the movie Blackbeard's Ghost was playing. When you were 8, there was Doctor Dolittle.

6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... it's 1959. There's TV noise coming from the second floor. Someone turned up the volume way too high. The sun is burning from above. These were different times. The show playing on TV is Bonanza . The sun goes down. Someone switches channels. There's The Bell Telephone Hour on now. That's the world you were born in.

Progress, year after year. Do you wonder where the world is heading towards? The technology available today would have blown your mind in 1959. Do you know what was invented in the year you were born? The Bullet Train.

1959 was a very strange time

A bad year for labor and a good year for wine

Uncle Ike was our American Pal

And nobody talked about the Suez Canal

...

That's from the song Post World War Two Blues by Al Stewart.

In 1959, a new character entered the world of comic books: Fritz the Cat. Bang! Boom! But that's just fiction, right? In the real world, in 1959, Bryan Adams was born. And Rosanna Arquette. Nastassja Kinski, too. And you, of course. Everyone an individual. Everyone special. Everyone taking a different path through life.

It's 2010.

The world is a different place.

What path have you taken?

What happened in my birth year?

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